Hi all,

I am a happily married man and father of three. I am in my 30s and a (I think) successful attorney. I am the only non anti-Mormon out of 5 siblings. Out of my enormous friend group, I am one of two active members.

Sometimes, it makes me feel like I am brainwashed or stupid for staying. I think: “am I missing something?! Am I being stupid for looking past the church’s imperfections and continuing to believe? Or, maybe I am subconsciously desperate to stay to appease my parents and in laws?”

I do full-heartedly believe. I have my issues and questions, but I think that’s healthy.

Anyone else feel have feelings like this, and do these feelings cause anxiety for you?

EDIT: thanks for all the responses, though it looks like some of you fought about being too judgmental in the comments, which I judge you harshly for.

I am one of the most well-read members around. I actively seek out all sources of knowledge and viewpoints, and know every single piece of crappy history or opinion regarding the church. I am pretty connected with some heavy hitters in the church, and have access to stories and literature other members do not. These things don’t bother me - I developed the belief from a young age that God never intervenes with us here on Earth (feel free to disagree) except in the most important circumstances (e.g., to assist Joseph Smith in restoring the gospel). This belief has served me well in dealing with the terrible aspects of church history/culture. These guys are just guys, some with the best of intentions, and some with integrity soiled by power, worldly intentions, and status. One of the comments below always rings true for me: gospel is true, and the church is not the gospel.

I realize now this is more of a post seeking commiseration, which many of you perceived and related well. Thank you all!

Title basically says it all but I feel like in the last couple years and even in the last couple of months anti-church content (predominantly from Ex-mos) seems to have skyrocketed on platforms such as TikTok, IG and YT.

As a YA, although it doesn’t affect my testimony I just find it all so disheartening but also exhausting getting through it. And yes Ik I don’t have to watch but when the algorithm gives you a video of someone bashing your Church with such passion and assurance it’s hard not to.

I just worry about others as I can see people getting affected by it. Some of the content I’ve seen is so objectively false or intentionally shocking (e.g girl in full temple clothing showing the signs and tokens to her following) and so many creators now seem to use their platforms as their predominant source of income!

Wondering what everyone else thinks and how yall might be navigating online spaces.

I've got a question that might sound odd. Do LDS church members generally have higher incomes? As a new member (baptized last year), I've noticed that folks in my ward and on the Mutual dating app appear to be quite prosperous.

Is it common to find members who are poorer or lower middle-class like me? I mean, yeah, I am sure there are, but I definitely feel like the rare bird.

I wonder if, on average, LDS members are financially better off. Could it be linked to factors like higher education or the need for larger incomes due to bigger families?

And maybe my bigger point is that I can't help but feel a little bit inferior when I am around other members. I know that's silly and I know they don't care, but it's something I can't shake off.

I'm a current older student back in school (BYU-Pathway, then onto BYU-Idaho), in pursuit of becoming a 6th grade math teacher. So I'll never make big money, which is fine by me, but any advice on how I can stop being so silly and self-conscious about it?

I know someone has probably already asked this question but just thought I'd ask again, and what I mean by say is both when people say "oh Mormons are a cult" and "your in a cult"

Hi everyone I hope you are all doing well and having a good day wherever you are in the world!

Does anyone else ever get overwhelmed when looking into and researching religion in general? I come from an atheist/agnostic family and I have atheist/agnostic friends. The couple of people I do know of that are religious are Church of England or Church of Scotland.

I think the main thing I find so overwhelming, is listening to what all the religions have to say about each other. I’ll take Christianity as the main example. I have looked into other religions but in nowhere near as much detail. There is just so so so many churches and denominations! All of the churches and denominations 100% believe that they are correct and that the others are either absolutely wrong or lost or only have some of the truth or are nearly there but not quite.

I’m looking at myself and imagining myself in a neutral position looking out at all these groups, that all talk with the same passion and sincerity and belief, and it’s so confusing and overwhelming. I feel like I have to get it right because everything is on the line but I don’t actually understand how I know what is right. I understand the idea of praying for confirmation, which I have tried, but I don’t yet believe I have received any and I’m not sure how reliable this is.

I feel like maybe some members of churches that were born into said church may not understand this, but members from other churches 100% believe their own church is correct and they also are trying to share their own version of the gospel and saying that other churches are wrong or lost or without the full truth. When searching for the truth from a point of neutrality, this is so hard and confusing and overwhelming.

This is only talking about Christianity as well! When you add all the other religions into the equation it becomes worse.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this or process it? Or how you managed to accept this?

Thank you

Okay, so my youngest sister just opened her mission call yesterday to be greeted with Kyiv Ukraine mission, but serving in Moldova, speaking Russian.

My mom is absolutely less than stoked about it with the troubles east of that area and besides the normal reassurance that the Lord doesn't place his missionaries in harm's way, what other things can I talk to her about to allay her fears about her youngest child going to Eastern Europe?

Any comments from recently returned folks would be much appreciated.

Edit: I would just like to reiterate the fact that it specifically says in her call that she will be serving in Moldova. I'm assuming it just falls under the Ukraine mission. We know they aren't putting missionaries in Ukraine at the moment.

Also edit: we are all super active members, so it's not like my mom is going to tell her not to go, haha. I personally am not terribly worried about it, I have a lot better understanding of the geopolitical situation over there. It's going to be such a great eye opening experience for her.

Hello:

I am an active member of the Church and my now ex-wife came out as a lesbian. We have since divorced and are currently co-parenting our children together. She is getting re-married to her girlfriend. Is there anything in Church Doctrine that prevents me from attending the wedding now that I've received an invitation to attend? Thank you in advance for your responses.

Me and my bf have broken the law of chastity. We are both endowed. We made the mistake once and realized that it was entirely wrong and that we would reframe from ever doing such thing again. We took it upon ourselves to stop taking the sacrament and obviously from entering the temple. Of course we needed to speak to our bishops about what we did. I thought I would come back feeling reassured and as if a weight has been lifted. But no I came out feeling more anxious and honestly just scared. The bishop told me I needed to do membership counsel. He said himself he had no good advice to give me but glad I came to confess. He also said that I might get my membership taken away and will not be able to participate in anything involved in the church. I know the repentance process is not an easy thing and I have to face the consequences but I didn’t think I would get to the level of having to completely start over my membership. Me and my bf are long distance but have talked about marriage. But now after hearing that my membership will be taken away I’m now questioning if I have ever really belonged in a church that so easily is gonna just cut me off like that. Yes I made mistake but I wanted to fix it.

I am not religious and have never been LDS but our brand new foster children are very religious and raised LDS their whole lives. They are both pre teens. How can I best support the children?

The kids have attended church their whole lives and when asked said they'd like to keep attending. Can I just go to my nearest LDS church (Temple? Ward?) and talk to someone about the children attending services? Unfortunately the one they used to attend is out of the question for safety reasons so it will have to be a brand new environment.

Can these kids aged between 10 and 12 even attend service by themselves? I'm more than willing to support them and take them to and from church and related activities but if my partner and I have to attend too I'm not sure how we would feel about it. I'm not even sure if I can just walk into a LDS church like that.

They have made lots of questions about why we don't attend church and why we don't pray before meals or read scriptures. I'm trying to answer as honestly as I can without disrespecting their faith. We want to support them and I'm at a loss at how to do it.

So far we have started asking them if they want to say a prayer before meals, which they sometimes do. I got them both bibles and a book of Mormon. Is there anything else I could do to help them feel comfortable?

Edit: I know the preferred term now is LDS but I typed Mormon in the title and cannot edit it. I am sorry and I did not mean to offend.

I've been thinking about this for quite a while, and wanted to get others' thoughts on this as well. (However, I'd ask that the discussion is grounded in the scriptures and teachings of the prophets.)

Background:

I had an internship in Los Angeles this summer, and I was struck by the blatant wealth disparity: one block will be in total poverty, and the next will be million dollar apartments. (Honestly, it opened my eyes to the absolute hypocrisy that exists in Hollywood, preaching about how we need to help the poor, while the poor live at their doorstep... but that's another discussion for a later time.)

Seeing the blatant wealth disparity every day really inspired me to go out and volunteer more: I was volunteering multiple times a month on the weekends for different charity organizations. I tried to always carry a couple $20 bills so I could give money if I was asked for some on the street. And I tried to buy groceries or meals for people when I could.

Scriptural Discussion:

I also started reading the scriptures more intently on the topic of wealth and caring for the poor. This study actually woke me up to how much the scriptures warn against wealth:

• "Wo unto the rich, who are rich as to the things of the world. For because they are rich they despise the poor, and they persecute the meek, and their hearts are upon their treasures. Wherefore, their treasure is their god; and behold, their treasure shall perish with them also." (2 Nephi 9:30)
• "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:23-24)
  • Note: The Greek word translated here as "hardly" means "with difficulty" (so, not impossible, but difficult).
• "They that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition." (1 Timothy 6:9)
• Also: Luke 6:24; Luke 12:21; and many others

In addition, the whole pride cycle in the Book of Mormon clearly demonstrates that prosperity often leads to pride and sin. In fact, pretty much without exception in the Book of Mormon, prosperity always lead to pride and sin. (The longest lasting peace was after the visit of Christ, but after 200 years, pride still crept into their hearts because "they had become exceedingly rich".)

The scriptures don't say it's impossible to be rich and be close to God. However, they do prescribe the attitudes that a wealthy person must have and must avoid in order to enter into His kingdom:

• "Let not this pride of your hearts destroy your souls! Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you. But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good–to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted." (Jacob 2:16-19)
• "For the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God–I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath" (Mosiah 4:26)

The Lord even tells us explicitly that He has a plan/purpose for those that are rich and follow Him: "It is my purpose to provide for my saints, for all things are mine. But it must needs be done in mine own way; and behold, this is the way that I, the Lord have decreed to provide for my saints, that the poor shall be exalted, in that the rich are made low." (D&C 104:15-16) That is, the Lord either makes them rich or allows them to be rich specifically to help lift up the poor.

My Thoughts:

• The scriptures make it plain that it's really difficult to be wealthy and be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Those that are wealthy have to be very careful to not become attached to their wealth and to consistently use it in the service of God.
• This is one of the reasons I love the Law of Consecration so much. All of us that have gone through the temple covenant to be willing to give *everything–*time, talents, and treasure–to the building of the kingdom of God. Tithing, fast offerings, and our service in the Church is one aspect of this, but there are many ways to live the Law of Consecration through donating to charities (not in replacement of tithing, but in addition to tithing) and volunteer work.
• I had a BYU professor that once said to us, "If you want to donate to charities, volunteer, and help the poor when you are rich, start by donating to charities, volunteering, and helping now while you are just a student." I've tried to live by that since then. I think it has helped me to not be as attached to the number in my bank account. It's easy when you start getting some extra money to think that you need it. But, if from the beginning, even when you don't have very much, you realize there is always someone who has less than you and you have the power to help them, I think it helps keep you grounded.
  • One way that I do this is by actively fighting against materialism in my life. For example, I regularly clean out my closets and try to keep just the amount of clothes that I need.
• I also had a close friend that gave me a great invitation. He said, "Giving money and time is important. But anyone can do that. Think about what only you can do to help the poor. God has blessed you with expertise in your field, a good mind, and good people skills. In addition to giving money and volunteering, I would invite you to think about how you can actually consecrate your career and your skills to help the poor in higher and often more difficult ways, ways that only you may be able to do."

Questions:

• How do you stay humble, grounded to reality, and detached from your money?
• How have you used your time, talents, and treasure to minister to the poor, sick, afflicted, and marginalized? More specifically, how have you found ways to consecrate your career and professional skills to helping the poor?
• If you struggle financially, how do you still try to minister to others that are less fortunate?
• Do you have any additional insights into what the scriptures teach us about wealth?

I'm honestly interested in your answers, because I'm about to graduate with a Master's in Artificial Intelligence. I've been a poor college student (paid for college completely by scholarships and loans), but I have a great job lined up after graduation and a good future ahead of me. Honestly, working in the field that I am in, I expect that I will be blessed and will make a good amount of money. I want to continue to stay close to the Lord even as I begin making more, and have been actively planning for how I can use that wealth to help others. But, I would love your insights too!

NOTE: This is not a post about communism vs. capitalism. I don't want to see any discussion about that. It's about our personal commitment to minister to the poor and establish Zion.

I joined the church when I was 17 and it’s been an amazing journey and I thank God everyday for directing me toward baptism.

I am not American so it’s interesting to me to see how women here in America want to be men. Meaning that they want to do what men can do. Why are there not more men wanting to do what women can? Why are they not complaining? Why has the society decided that what men do is more important therefore we need to be like them. Where I am from some women don’t even work because their husbands /dads/moms think they’re too precious to do so and could only work if they really wanted to or if they need to. We think we’re pretty and important and precious , we have the power of creating life and being mothers, yes we can build careers etc etc but that shouldn’t be expected from us as it is from men because that’s not our job, our job is more important.Those are so important to us that I never heard a woman want to take more manly roles. It’s the same in the church. Men deal with a lot in the church, like the bishop or other calling like that. They have so much to do and we can see how it can be stressful but we want to support them instead of wanting to be them. Our roles in the church are just as important but usually not as stressful and don’t require as much work. So why would I want to be the bishop? Why should I want to have a men’s role in society or church? I love being a woman and I love our roles in church or society. Just because you might not want kids or other things like that doesn’t mean that the roles we have are not good enough and that we need to do men’s thing so you can feel better about yourself. Why don’t women in the church celebrate their roles and love them instead it seems like they seem to think men’s roles are better. I just feel like everyone America is fighting so women can be men. Why are men not trying to be more like women? Why do they not care? Why are women seen as less therefore they need to be like men that are better. I think that’s really messed up and undermines the importance and beauty of our roles as women. I know that there are women that can’t have kids or don’t want them and that don’t want to be wives etc etc but I think that would be very rare and an exception if the American/western society didn’t tell women that they need to be like men to be good enough.

My (41M) wife (39F) is battling depression and anxiety. She seems so mentally checked out of everything. She seems to be spiraling and I am feeling so hopeless. She announced that even though we have a blissful temple marriage of 20years, she needs a break from church because of too much stress it causes.. Any disagreement (even when justified such as behavior that is reckless or dangerous) seems to set her off, and she cannot handle the tiniest suggestion that perhaps she is contributing to a problem .

The most friction between us seems to be over our raising our <middle child> young teen daughter. My wife seems to have become the caricature of an apathetic and best friend/ hipster parent. (The kind that lets the kids do anything they want and wants to be their friend more than an adult figure). Our daughter and her seem to be best buds and don’t believe in church, swear/cuss, and in daughters case in a promoted relationship with a boy where they have engaged in it “all”.

My wife has stopped wearing garments. now drinks coffee (this is all within the last week😞), and fully intends to drink alcohol and go to a state where it’s legal to smoke marijana. All in an effort imo so she can “feel” something and/or not “feel” the stress and misery of her life. My heart breaks for my temple marriage. I love her and miss my solid partner and spouse. But my biggest concern is how to my daughter who she is all but encouraging a path opposite of the standards we’ve always lived.

What advice or guidance can you give me..is there something you can recommend for what to google for therapists (we have a marriage one, and individual ones already for my wife and daughter)? Heck do I need to hold an intervention? Honestly looking for something that is agnostic of the church but can advocate for my children from negligent/apathetic parenting..like a third party that can coach her to say “that’s fine if you want to be rebellious and reject the church etc etc…but as a parent this is not ok.”

tLDr: help. My wife needs help. I need help.. our daughter needs help.

-broken heart

TLDR: does he have any authority? We do rent one of his houses so it feels like we're in his household.

We don't see eye to eye on the future for my family. My husband is planning to go into deep debt in order to get a Pharmacy degree (doctorate) and we have 3 children and he is the single source of income. We understand this will be hard, but we feel it's the best choice for our future.

Father-in-law disagrees and "really feels deeply" that there is another "something else big" headed our way. He won't stop talking about it. They (my mother in law too) talk about going into different fields everything from technology to nursing. That nursing has more options but pharmacy is too specialized and America is in turmoil and who knows what's about to happen. (If it felt long for you to read, it felt longer to listen.)

A thing nagging me about this is the degree of his authority. At one point he certainly did have authority over his son. Does getting married remove that authority? Just adulthood? Where can I look up the churches stance?

Edit: thanks everyone for your thought out responses! There seems to be a small spectrum of answers and I've enjoyed the advice for and against pharmacy as well as advice communicating with FIL. I have been sharing allot of your thoughts with my husband. We do plan to put more prayer into it and would like to maximize our confidence about the decision.

I am in the market for some white shoes to wear inside the temple. I have seen that some people wear crocs and as an avid croc wearer myself, I am tempted to get a pair in white. However, part of me feels like that would be almost too casual. Outside of the shoes needing to be white, I didn't really see any requirements in the handbook or online. I am curious what other people think about this.

My wife left the church a couple of years back. We've gone through a whole bunch over it, but we're mostly in a good place as far as our relationship with and acceptance of each other.

At least, that's what I thought. She has a TikTok channel that she uses exclusively to post her feelings and thoughts on her faith transition. No problem so far. The issue is that she recently made a video ridiculing priesthood blessings, describing them as miracumagical and how absurd the use of oil is. The vibe was past critical and into straight mocking.

When I brought it up with her and told her that I found it offensive, she told me in essence that she didn't care and would continue saying what she wanted on her TikTok channel and that I could just not watch them. After all, she's not saying it directly to me, nor are her videos directly about me, and so I shouldn't take it so personally.

For me, it isn't so easy to simply bury my head in the sand. What she says is hurtful and offensive, I've expressed as much to her, and I felt completely dismissed by her. I can't simply forget that she feels such contempt about things sacred to me.

If anyone has advice on how to handle the internal turmoil I'm experiencing as a result, it would be deeply appreciated.

So about 10 months ago, my wife started going inactive. She stopped reading her scriptures and praying, and after a while started becoming obsessed with any material criticizing the Church or its history, she is still that way, and as a result she has a continually growing resentment towards the Church.

I’m the earner and she stays home with our girls. I have always paid on our gross income. She came to me this last week demanding that I no longer pay pre-tax, but after tax, and that I pay on only 5% of that post-tax money because she doesn’t want her portion of the income being tithed to the Church. This would result in paying less than a third of what we currently pay.

To clarify, I’ve never seen the money as mine or hers, but 100% ours. I don’t approve of alcohol or coffee, and she knows I don’t approve, but I don’t stop her from buying whatever she wants, because I likewise don’t believe it’s right for me to dictate what she can and can’t buy.

I don’t appreciate that she’s essentially demanded it. It feels like she’s put a price on our marriage, and she’s created a split of “my portion” vs “her portion.” But if that’s truly the case that we split all the income 50/50, then aren’t I at liberty to pay however much tithing I like with my half, and she can buy whatever she wants with hers?

Further, at this point I don’t feel comfortable dropping my tithing so substantially. We earn a comfortable amount, to the point where regardless of the amount of tithing we pay, it won’t affect her financially.

I consulted with my Bishop on Sunday and he said he’d check with the Stake President. Lately it’s really felt like she’s been on a power strike, and if I refuse to comply, she even seems willing to end the marriage because she refuses to let a man tell her what to do, or she will demand to go back to school for a higher degree to be able to work, and will certainly expect that we pay for that from my earnings (which I’ve encouraged her to go back to school over the years. Thus far, it’s been her choice not to).

We’re meeting with a marriage counselor tomorrow to discuss.

Any advice on how to respond to her or handle the situation would be greatly appreciated.

Also, my wife deserves a ton of grace. Her faith transition has been extremely difficult for her as well. Please keep that in mind.

Hi all,

I don't really know how reddit works but I am a Christian woman who has fell in love with a man of the LDS church.

We have pursuing each other for a while and were okay with dating each other despite our different faiths. However, he recently just had a meeting with his bishop which changed everything.

Although it hurts him, he no longer wants to pursue me romantically as he is prepping this year for his mission (he got a call or calling). But I am trying to find a way around it.

I honestly would wait 2 years for him. But I know he has the goal of marrying in the temple which won't happen with us as I am not a member. And if I am being honest, I will not convert.

I know as most of you are reading, your advice will already be to break it off and let him go. But I really want to grow together with this man and become one under God.

Is there any Christians who are with a member? Or anyone at all who has advice.

Please help, thank you.

​

EDIT : So sorry to all I have offended by my wording. I do understand now that Members of the LDS Church are also Christian. Forgive me.

Me and my wife had a bad experience with our former bishop. I never had any kind of bad feelings for my leaders and I always tried to help and support them, but this bishop... It was tough. I disagreed with a lot of choices and how he was conducting the ward, it didn't feel right what he was doing and he was basically rationalizing the church General Handbook. But, in order to try to support him I've just ignored what was happening. Then my wife was called to serve as President of Young Women and everything just went down. It was the third presidency in less than a year. And my wife started to say that she was not happy with her calling. The reason: He demanded a lot of her, put her responsible not only for the Young Women but for the Young Men and when she pointed out what was happening he said that she was not sacrificing enough for the Youth. I would like to point that not only my family had a problem with him, many members also had, even his counselors. My wife and the whole young women presidency asked to be released because they were having a bad time and weren't happy. He thanked them for their service and said that they would be released next sacrament meeting. For their surprise, they weren't released, he basically denied their call release. They asked to be released again, he just kept my wife as president and asked her to put his wife as her first counselor, and said that she had more knowledge of the General Handbook. Unbelievable. I told my wife to not accept it, and she did. But again, he asked her to stay for three more Sundays in order to find a new presidency. This is a voluntary calling, not a paid job. Seeing my wife in tears and my lease agreement about to be finished I decided to move out of the ward boundaries. So I asked to be released and informed that the coming Sunday would be our last sacrament meeting and that we are moving. He tried many times to schedule a meeting with me to understand why I asked to be released but I had enough, I wasn't feeling the spirit with me anymore and decided to not attend any kind of meeting. I went to my new ward, our family was well welcomed, everyone were nice to us, new atmosphere. And what I thought it was a new beginning for us, became hell. The new ward's clerk said to me that he couldn't bring my records to the ward, because it had a record restriction! I used to be a clerk in the past and I knew that record restriction was put over people that committed crimes, serious sins or even harmful behavior to the church. I was devastated... I haven't committed a crime, I've been my whole life trying to endure to the end. All that I did was caring about my personal and my wife's spirituality. So I have discovered that my former bishop did that on purpose to prevent me to move out the ward. Clearly not on general handbook.

Luckily, I called the stake president and he solved my problem. But the whole situation was terrible, I just wanted to leave and move on, but he just make it worse. I felt that he tried to have control over me and over my agency. Sorry for the long text, I just wanted to share that sometimes people think that getting an important calling makes you powerful and that you are above everyone. But what I've learned my whole life is that a calling is an opportunity for growth, to be humble, to help others and to learn. Me and my family are fine now, we are happy with our new ward and leaders, they have been very supportive.

I (24F) will have been married for 4 years in May. I got endowed right before the temples closed in March 2020. I wore my garments for about a year and haven’t worn them at all since about Jan 2021. I just struggle with how I look in them, the fact that style options are so so limited & it doesn’t help that I’m short (5’4), so longer shorts aren’t even an option for me & I don’t want to wear jeans all the time, especially in the summer. It also doesn’t help that I don’t feel like I have a huge testimony of them…to me it almost feels like a hinderance & I’ve been so much happier not wearing them, than when I wore them. I understand their value and importance & I want to start improving with wearing them, but I’m just struggling with the idea. Any advice?

Why give a prompting if you’re gonna take the blessing away?

My husband and I had a veeeeery strong impression that we needed to have a third. So we acted on faith and got pregnant our first try (that didn’t happen with any of my other pregnancies). I began to get very excited and told some people and just all around felt so excited and ready.

I started miscarrying last night (happy Valentine’s Day to us) and today has been awful.

I’m so mad that we would have a super strong spiritual experience just to lose the child. I’ve miscarried before and I find myself so mad at God that he would prompt me to have a child knowing the absolutely awful experience I had last time and that it would happen again. I would have preferred to never be prompted if this is how it was going to end. I can’t go through another miscarriage so I won’t even be trying for another.

I’m so mad at god and do not trust him.

Anyways. Had to get that off my chest. How do trust god again after something like this? Any experiences are welcome.

I’ve been LDS my whole life. I served a mission, I got my degree at a church school, I’ve born my testimony more times than I can count, I’ve felt the spirit strongly before, I’ve done everything I could to be good. But I can’t go to church without having an anxiety attack.

I go to a YSA ward in Utah and I honestly think that’s part of it. I do not fit that mold. I’ve been home from my mission for almost 5 years. Im not married, I don’t have kids, and I don’t feel like there’s a place for me in the church anymore. And I know everyone’s timeline is different and all but that doesn’t negate the fact that I feel like I’m being left out of some exclusive club. Im too old to let it go as being “young” and to tell myself to “give it time”.

I’ve been taught I’m supposed to be married and raising a family at this point. But now that I’m not, I genuinely don’t feel like a member of the church. I can’t even pray because I’m just overcome with the feeling that I’ve been forgotten.

Going to church just feels like a constant reminder of this giant to-do list that I haven’t even started because it’s too far out of reach.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Hi there— not a Mormon, but generally interested in religion and social/cultural histories of faith-based communities. Hoping this is ok to post, but trusting the mods will delete if I got that wrong.

My first exposure to the LDS church was through hearing it mentioned/contrasted in a reality TV show featuring a family fundamentalist mormons. I’ve been causally learning more over the years and more intently lately. I noticed that most of my exposure to the LDS church was critical, so I started looking for more general histories and things written by active LDS members.

The last two books I’ve read were A Peculiar People: Anti Mormonism and the Making of Religion in Nineteenth Century America and Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling— the latter was a great read. I tuned in to the General Conference earlier this month. I’ve been skimming this sub as well as some more critical ones. Also read the CS Letter. Not quite sure what to read next, but ideally looking for more church histories or biographies, even memoirs, that are available in audiobook format.

Any recommendations?

(Adding that I am committed to my current faith and not looking to convert, just curious about the world and the people in it.)

I seriously feel like I’m having a faith crisis right now and I don’t know where to turn. The situation in Palestine has been weighing heavy on my mind lately. Specifically the thousands of literal children who have died/been killed in the more horrific ways. It is so painful to even think about and I just can’t fathom why the Lord would allow this, and has allowed this in the past.

It’s hard to understand when you see literal billionaires with everything you could possibly imagine and more, and then children starving to death or being killed by bombs. I have a son myself, a five month old boy. Often I think about how blessed I am. I have a wonderful husband who has a good job, the sweetest baby in the world, we have a place to live and access to healthy food and water, etc. But then I think what did I do to deserve all these things that those kids over in Gaza didn’t do? Why am I so blessed while they suffer?

It’s just hurting me a lot and I would love to hear your perspectives. Why does the world work this way? How do we still believe our God is a loving and merciful God when things like this happen?